Hey everyone, I haven’t had the internet in over 1 week now and i’m back! It’s been kinda nice not to have so many distractions. I’ve been able to focus on my art and I got a ton of work done. I’ve been extremely productive! I might have to turn it off every once in a while.
- My 8/16 bit set is put on hold for the moment. I have too many projects going on at the same time. my fault
- I’ve been working on a comic/manga project for the past year now and I have mentioned it once before. It will be very different from my previous work. It combines a few of my passions: Ghibli film storytelling, baking, and watercolor paintings. It’s a simple but funny love story. I know some of you guys will not be excited for this because I’m known for dark realistic art, but I hope you guys will still support me and my project. I will most likely post it up on kickstarter to help push the book out.
- I also have a web-comic that I’m working on. This one is just off the walls crazy fun. It’s been so much fun experimenting with different art styles and I finally settled into something really vibrant and retro but modern. I’ve been trying to break the traditional storytelling formula and hopefully it works out into something really new and fun. This is in the early stages so I won’t talk about again for a while. I’m really excited to see how this turns out! The main character is hilarious
- I’ve talked about a scifi graphic novel that I’ve been working on with a really awesome writer but that project is put on hold for a while. Hopefully we can get that started up again soon. I’ts really dark, violent and has a deep storyline!
- I’m still working on a 3d animation with a friend that has been in the works for over 5 years. The script and storyboards are done. Well be moving on to animatics real soon. This will also be a Kickstarter project.
I dropped out of college because of it. I went for a few months and I hated being there with all of those people who judged me every day. It was exhausting pretending to be one of them. I felt like I was different but I didn’t know why. I didn’t like to be out with people I didn’t know . I just wanted to stay home and play video games and watch TV. Some days my friends would ask me to hang out and I would make up an excuse just so I could stay in the comfort of my room. I really wanted to go out but It was easier not to do something that would take me out of my comfort zone. I liked my prison. I didn’t know what would happen if I went out there. It was too risky. I didn’t want people to discover that I was a phony- a prisoner in civilian clothing. I ignored my family most of the time. It was comfortable being by myself. No drama and no problems to speak of. I did feel very lonely most of the time living in my jail cell. Some days I didn’t want to live.
This is how I lived my life in my late teens to early 20′s. My life did improve after my mid 20′s. I eventually got a job, girlfriend and had 2 kids. Things were better on the outside but I still felt like a prisoner in my mind. I had a new life and everything started feeling overwhelming. I wasn’t used to this. I missed being in my room. It was as if I was fighting against two different people in my head; One wanted to enjoy this new life and the other wanted to go back to how everything was. I struggled within myself for many years after and it affected the people around me.
A couple of years ago, I discovered that I suffered from major depression. It all made sense. You would think it was obvious, but from the inside, it wasn’t. It finally had a name and I could do something about it. A ray of truth piercing through the heavy dark fog that suffocated me. It took me a few years to fight my way out though most of it. It was an ugly battle. Sometimes it still trips me up but now I know how to get up. This is how I did it:
I didn’t take medication for those who are wondering.
- I exercise 5 days a week and eat healthy. No junk food. A healthy body promotes a healthy mind. It helps deal with daily anxieties and it makes you feel accomplished when you finish. (I recommend P90x,P90x2, One on one with Tony Horton, and Body beast).
- I focus on my art. This means that I turned off the TV. It’s mostly a waste of time. Unless you are learning something from it- don’t watch it. If I do watch something, it’s only while I’m eating.
- I catch myself every time I think of something negative. I label that thought as useless and I imagine throwing it away behind me like a crumpled paper.
- I focus on today. It’s a cliche but do it away. I Focus on being happy this moment. Don’t think about tomorrow or later today. Just focus on this absolute moment. Take a deep breath and listen to yourself release it…. You feel that? It’s called peace. Remember it and try to make this happen more often. We live in a society that forces us to rush at every moment possible. We tell ourselves that there’s not enough time and we freak out. STOP THIS. Once I put my worries away, I started enjoying life more.
- Be grateful everyday. Grateful for my 2 beautiful girls who love me more than anyone on this planet. Grateful to all of the people in my life and all of the things I have.
- I Cut out negative people from my life. Family doesn’t get diplomatic immunity. If they are toxic for you then cut them out. I did this years ago and guess what? less worries =)
This takes time and hard work but it’s worth it. Be consistent. This is how I broke out of my prison and the view from here is liberating.
Now I’m working out breaking out the prison society has put us in since birth. You might not see it but it’s there-hidden behind the invisible bubble that surrounds you. I’ve seen the other side and it’s amazing. Once I bust out, I will show you the way.
This is a piece I did for the Biggest fighting game tourney in the southern hemisphere- Shadowloo Showdown 3013! I was approached by the awesome Bosslogic to do a piece for the tourney. An art book is also coming soon! Here are some links with more information:
Also I have more recent art posted on my deviant art.
Good show! It’s been too long everyone. I did this in-between work for fun. Pops from regular show! I sculpted his head in 3d using Sculptris and the rest was done in photoshop as always. I hope you guys enjoy it. If you like it, please make a purchase from my store . Thank you!
I’ve had these up on my deviantart for a while and I forgot to post this here. You can buy prints and other goodies at my store and a big THANK YOU to everybody who has already made a purchase ! I really appreciate it!